If I wasn’t stressed out before I sure am now. I thought I was handling this all fairly well until this week (it’s quite possible I was in denial). (I’m not going to lie this is the cheapest form of therapy to help me through this process, so enjoy my craziness.)
Where do I begin… first we have had everyone come out to the house to start the process of selling, the final home inspection is happening as I type. That wasn’t too bad, but then we get the package from the relocation company that has a flash drive in it. The first thing that comes to mind is Mission Impossible (insert theme music here), Agent Horace here are the objectives, the mission, and your team, should you choose to accept the mission you will be on your own. This flash drive will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. BOOM. Chris decides to look at the flash drive and figure out what we need to start doing and there is so much stuff to do that we both get completely overwhelmed. Okay let’s be honest here, I’m the one too overwhelmed to even discuss it, Chris is being very calm about the process.
On Thursday, I had my second Thai language class. Our teacher is awesome; she is so nice and is very patient. I only start to freak out when she tells me there are 32, that’s right I said 32, vowels and 47 consonants in the Thai language. On top of this, there are five tone markers, mid, low, falling, high, and rising. WHAT!? I THINK MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED. She giggles at my disbelief and is probably thinking, stupid southern American. Okay Becky don’t freak-out…. After two hours of language class, I am spent for the night.
Yesterday we had almost two hours of culture training. Let’s just say this sent me over the edge (keep in mind I look and act as cool as a cucumber but on the inside I’m screaming WHAT AM I DOING GOING TO THAILAND?) Before the training we are asked to take a personality test, mine and Chris’ scores are on the total opposite scale of the Thai culture, awesome so now I need to not only adjust every part of my life but also my personality and the way I do EVERYTHING. NO BIG DEAL…(I just know I am bound to piss someone off) One upside to going to Thailand is they are extremely status oriented and being an American gives you an automatic leg up, the Thai’s look at Americas as free people and very capable. With that being said Chris has it made at work but then they tell me “Becky, you have this too but you are also going to be seen as an easy target to be taken advantage of, you look like a tourist and on top of that you have a kid with you.” AWESOME. This is when I am glad I am taking Thai language class, after they talk to me they will see I can understand them and maybe they won’t completely screw me over and try and charge me $50 American dollars for a gallon of milk. Pang Mak (to expensive, see I already have a leg up). To make it even better they show us a chart that shows us our projected feelings during the process. First the honeymoon stage, which could last 1 day or up to a month. Next we have culture shock, will probably last 3 months (I can even handle that), then you start to deal with what’s going on and they call that superficial acceptance (this doesn’t sound so good). Next we have depression, the instructor says “Becky, this is where you will suffer the most.” AGAIN, AWESOME! The depression stage (in his diagram) can last from 3-8 months…. Then you start to come out of it and the last stage is you are finally at peace with the situation. So you can imagine after that 2 hour “gem” of a class you can see why I am a little… a lot hesitant.
I believe the only thing that is going to get me through this process will be thinking: “you will never get to see this side of the world again, Killian will be in school at age 3, you will not lose your mind, your degree will still be relevant when you come back, someone is bound to die/retire in some small town in the Upstate and there will be a job opening when you come home, you will see a Chick-fil-a again (you might just have to wait a year), your friends won’t forget you, and don’t worry they will have ESPN in Thailand so you can watch the Tigers play….”
This too shall pass and I will be excited for the experience but I have to believe uprooting my whole life and moving around the world will cause some jitters.
God has a plan; I believe His plan is for the Horace family to be in Thailand, I must keep the faith.