You know the part of the story when all of a sudden the writer throws in a curve ball. Just when we have been following along and we think we know exactly what’s coming next there is a sudden twist in the plot that makes you go “yup… Didn’t see that coming…”. That is my favorite part about and good movie; the point where my jaw drops and I am utterly floored at what just happened. Well that happened the other day with my test results at my doctor’s appointment.
I had prepared myself for the worst case scenario, with three miscarriages you can’t help but become skeptical or rather we will call it cautiously optimistic. I mean give me a break after three miscarriages the doctor even says something must not be right and we need to figure out what it is.
Chris and I had gone for blood work a couple of weeks before to check our chromosomes and my antibodies. The doctor invites me into his office and asks where Chris is, which makes me think “o great it must be bad news…” I tell him that he couldn’t get off work but I will relay the information to him. He agrees and starts in on the results.
“Becky your chromosomes are normal- no issues at all. Chris has no issues with his chromosomes either.” A huge smile forms on my face, “that’s great news so that means we are good on that end!?” He agrees and says “let’s continue with the results”.
I think to myself that he is so serious this must be where we have a problem with the antibodies. We go through the many pages and he tells me that I am negative for all possible antibodies. “What? So no problems?” He says “now we will do the ultrasound and see what’s going on.”
Here comes the ultrasound, this is where the problem will be I think to myself. He proceeds with the ultrasound and informs me that I am currently ovulating and everything looks normal. He then checks the lining of my uterus (if there is a problem here the baby can not implant properly causing a miscarriage). He said “see this? You have a very good uterus. No problems here at all.”
I want to talk more but he instructs me to get dressed and we will discuss. I sit back down in his office and I ask him “so there is no medical reason why this is happening?” And he says he is sorry but with all the tests there are no problems. I am totally healthy! He instructs me to come back to him as soon as I have a positive pregnancy test to get a prescription for progesterone.
I thank him and walk out. I walk out with a huge smile on my face! I don’t need a reason as to why it happened. With the tests, I know it wasn’t me or my fault; I am not broken (I am fearfully and wonderfully made!). You have no idea what a relief this for me. I thanked God for my good health and I realize this was all part of his plan. Each miscarriage brought me closer to him and my faith. Each occurrence has completely changed my view on life and “his ultimate plan” for me and my family. I trust him now more than I ever have before. He needs me to be in this state of obedience to guide me to his ultimate purpose for my life.
I trust his plan. I trust one day a baby will come along. I will be content in my current situation and thank him everyday for what he has given me- a beautiful little boy that makes everyday worth living to the fullest.
Your continued prayers and support are appreciated.