Why is change so painful?

Change: To make or become different

Why do you think change is so painful for us? Why do we hold on to the familiar and the comfortable? Do we resist change so that we can live a life of ease? Is it really easier to stay the same or doesn’t that take some work as well?

These are all questions that I would love someone to answer but even if they did I am not sure I or anyone else would listen and make the change needed. We could have someone talk to us until they’re blue in the face but in all reality, nothing they say or do will change the current trajectory we are on.  We have to want the change for ourselves. If there is no value for us, why change?

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How’s This for Confidence!?

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I am very serious about being confident in God’s perfect plan for my life. Most of the time, I feel like I am just holding on for dear life because it comes at me so quickly. I guess that’s just part of the fun of “enjoying the ride”.

I wanted to share with you my bold leaps out of my comfort zone into something totally new where I believe God is calling me. I am so excited about these different opportunities because I know I will learn so much that will lead to great career path prospects down the road.

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One House to Clean

Last week our nanny soap opera (get it like One Life to Live?!) concluded… well sort of.  Last Friday, Pai came in to talk to Chris before he headed to work.  We explained we could keep her until a new maid/nanny arrives for 1 day a week and we would pay her the same hourly rate as before.  She didn’t really seem to like this although it was her idea.  She asked me on the day that she quit if she could come work for 1 day a week until we found another helper, we said yes but now she is saying no I want more.  She says “I wants part time!” I say “We only need you for one day, I can do everything around the house and take care of Killian.”  (I just can’t iron…I’m the worst!) She doesn’t seem to really understand.  Chris explains to her when she works for 1 day what her pay would be at the end of the day.  She says well “I need more money.  I don’t know if I work here or not.”  I say “Ok you need to make up your mind.  Either you work here for one day a week or you don’t, either is fine with me but I am not going to wait around and see if you come into work or not.”  Not sure if the language barrier is there but she just shakes her head in agreeance.  She then says she will go to Krabi with us to help with Killian if we don’t have a helper.  She says “I go to Krabi.  You pay salary?”  “ummmm no.  If you go to Krabi you can go on vacation, we will pay for everything, and you will watch Killian when he naps but no salary since you do not work for us anymore.  It’s your choice.”  The only reason I have offered this to her is because she quit her job with no way to pay her bills.  She didn’t think one step ahead and just up and quit.  Is that my problem?  No!!! But I’m a nice person and will help anyway.

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Another Awesome Afternoon

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Just wanted to give a little toddler tip for the expat moms in Bangkok! Yesterday, Wednesday afternoon, Killian and I headed to Gateway Ekkami to play at Molly Fantasy and had an awesome time! We arrived around 3pm and the place was a ghost town! There might have been 5 other kids playing! This is a welcomed change of pace if you have ever visited this play place on the weekend! Killian was wiped out after an hour and half of playing and we headed home. If traveling via BTS the 3pm and 4:30pm hours were not busy so much more manageable with a toddler in tow. A fun afternoon with my kid and I didn’t walk out with a headache due to screaming kids (and I even got to play on the big slides!!)

All My Nannies

Yesterday the soap opera (get it like All My Children hahaha) that is my life with our nanny came to a close. Yesterday morning I went downstairs to our lobby to catch our 8am tuk tuk to the hospital for Killian’s dentist appointment and low and behold, I see my nanny sitting on the couch playing on her iPad. I am amazed since we didn’t know where or how she was since we had been calling her all day (the day before) and yesterday morning to see if she was ok. I say “Hey! What are you doing here!?” She just stares at me. I say “We have been trying to call you all day yesterday and this morning. Are you ok?” she says “Phone off. I sleep.” I ask “How am I supposed to get a hold of you if you keep your phone off?” I receive a blank stare. I explain I had to cancel my appointments because we didn’t know if she was coming in or not. She barks back at me “I told you I would be here today!” I said “No you didn’t. All I heard on the phone was “At doctor. Tummy hurt.” When I asked if you were coming in and/or to please call me to let me know if you would come in you hung up the phone.” She just looks at me as if I am the one with the problem. I ask if she is ok since she was at the doctor. She says “Yes. Doctor says I need to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.” My jaw drops. “You aren’t eating? (Please keep in mind as soon as she walks in the door in the morning I offer her breakfast. At lunch I offer her whatever I have in the house every single day and every day she says no I am ok. I check every day to see if she has eaten and she always says yes.) I stand up, visibly frustrated, shake my head, look down at my son in his stroller and walk away. She storms upstairs to do her work.

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As The Broom Sweeps

I had no idea that hiring a nanny/maid would end up being like a soap opera (my moms favorite: As The World Turns or is it Young & The Restless) that I get to tune into daily. I just figured it would make my life easier and it does in a lot of ways but I also wasn’t aware of the baggage that comes with it.

I guess when you think about it, you are bringing a total stranger into your life and they have issues. These issues are normal people issues but I just figure like any other job, you leave your crap at the door and do your job without affecting the rest of the environment. This does not seem to be the case with domestic help.

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We’re Off To The Zoo


We took a nice trip to the zoo with our friend Pam! She told me all about the zoo at our lunch date and I figured we love the zoo in Greenville so let’s go as our weekend adventure outing! Pam is wonderful, instead of taking a 45 minute taxi ride to the zoo (which is a huge pain with Killian, especially on the ride back because he is tired and in an awful mood) Pam picked us up at our building. Since she has a roomy SUV, we were able to use the car seat. Score one for the parents, this will keep him quite and contained instead of having to deal with Killian doing the alligator death role in the backseat! O how I miss the car seat and having our own car, although I don’t think I could handle driving here. Pam is a pro at it, she has had a few years experience now but still there is no way I could do it without hitting something!

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Busy Bee…Becky

Just a little update. We are all moved in and settled into our new home in Bangkok. There were a few hiccups… like huge “monsters” as Pai calls them (cockroaches) and a small ant issue but luckily, that is all sorted now. I am so grateful we have Pai, every time there is an issue or we find something kind of broken she will call downstairs and tell them (not ask them) to come and fix it NOW! Every time I try to speak with the front desk there is a huge disconnect caused by the language barrier and after a while it gets frustrating so now I just ask Pai to do all the talking.

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